Post By Ragan: Work and Family Conflicts

I grew up in a home where my mother stayed home all day.  She cooked, she cleaned, she was always there for us.  I always had her there when I came home from school, the house always was nice and tidy, and dinner was always a home cooked meal.  However, times have changed and she now is a working mom. I still have an eleven year old sister at home who has not had the luxury of having a mom there to greet her every day when she gets home.  I know that this has affected her.  Although our family may need my mom to work and help provide for us financially, it still is important to realize that a mother's kids always needs their love and attention.

While many families have a need for both parents to work, it's essential for them to realize that a child always does best with a mother to stay home and take care of them.  A home with a working mother will have more negative outcomes than a home with a mother who is always there.

President Gordon B. Hinckley (1996) of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints once said, "It is well-nigh impossible to be a full-time homemaker and a full-time employee" (p. 69).  There is no easy way to be a mom and hold a job at the same time.  People may have to make sacrifices in order to sustain their families needs, but not without some consequences that follow.  There is a reason that we are counseled to not work as women.  We are advised to be there to provide" supervision in studying, in working inside and outside the home, in the nurturing that only [mothers] can adequately give—the love, the blessing, the encouragement, and the closeness of a mother" (Hinckley, 1998, p. 97).

There are many consequences that will follow with a mother who is no always able to adequately provide the attention that her children need.  Children constantly seek the attention of the people around them, but it is especially important to them to be recognized by their parents.  "Parental involvement... is one of the most important factors determining how a child performs in school" (Kaminer, 2005, p. 316).  Too often parents, mothers, get too involved in their work and the needs of child are put on the back burner.  Stress carries over from the work place into the home and it causes for unpleasant circumstances.

Even if a mother wants to be there for their child, workplaces don't usually oblige to letting a mom take a day off to be able to care for their children whenever necessary.  Mothers are "often unable to take time off from work to attend meetings with teachers, principals, and other school officials, or to stay at home with their children when they are sick" (Kaminer, 2005, p. 316), making the child's needs, again, be unmet.

In 1986, Jan Underwood Pinborough said, "Family life always demands sacrifice, but working outside the home makes it even more difficult to balance personal needs, marital needs, and family needs."  It is so important to learn to balance the life of our families and our work.  Our children need us and they must be our first priority.

Show them you care.  Show them you love them.  Be a loving mother.

Sources:
Hinckley, Gordon B. (1986, November). Women of the Church. Ensign, 69. Retrieved from http://www.lds.org/

Hinckley, Gordon B. (1998, November). Walking in the Light of the Lord. Ensign, 97. Retrieved from http://www.lds.org/

Kaminer, Debbie N. (2005). The Work-Family Conflict: Developing a Model of Parental Accommodation in the Workplace. American University Law Review. Retrieved from http://www.wcl.american.edu/journal/lawrev/54/kaminer.pdf.

Pinborough, Jan Underwood (1986, March). Working Double-Time: The Working Mother's Dilemma. Ensign. Retrieved from http://www.lds.org/