Culture & Parenting - by Alexis

                According to dictionary.com, one definition of culture is “the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, age, or ethnic group.”  Knowing that certain groups of people can have the same beliefs, values, and ways of doing things, we must be aware of how this can have an effect on our individual parenting practices.  Influencing cultures may be as big as a religious culture; those we worship with and what our religious beliefs are may influence the way that children are raised.  Influencing cultures may be as small as a neighborhood, or an individual family.  The things our neighbors let their kids do might also influence what we decide to let our children do.

                For my whole life, I’ve grown up in dominantly LDS neighborhoods where the dads go to work from 8-5; the moms stay home to cook, clean, and watch the kids; and the children have chores to do before they head off to swimming lessons, basketball practice, and piano lessons.  I can say without a doubt that the Utah Valley culture played a big role in the way that I was raised.  I was put on t-ball teams, soccer teams, basketball teams, volleyball teams, and put in ballet lessons, jazz lessons, ice skating lessons, tennis lessons, golfing lessons, piano lessons, and gymnastics lessons.  Where I grew up put (and still does) pressure on me to be better than I could, or even wanted to, be.

                Now apply that kind of pressure to parenting, and you’ve got yourself a slightly disconcerting position.  In class we talked about three things influencing others to have children. 

1)       Biological influence – We are programmed to love babies.  I’ve noticed that as moms push their babies around campus, all of the girls on campus will sneak a peek at the baby and get this silly look on their faces.  Totally guilty.

2)      Societal influence – Society emphasizes the positive value of having children.  FoxNews.com published on online article called “10 Hidden Benefits of Having Children,” which included the following points:  children lower your blood pressure,  children entitle you to major tax savings, children get you better parking, children keep you sane, children renew your thirst for knowledge, children make you sexier, children give you an alibi, children increase your self-esteem, children remind you to stop and smell the roses, and children make you happier.  Even though most of the reasons might seem silly, it all boils down to the fact that children provide positive consequences, and society recognizes that fact.

3)      Religious influence – We have a procreation power that makes us like God, and He wants us to provide bodies for His spirit children.  Most LDS families have larger families than the national average, and link this to their beliefs.

                Even though there are people out there like Judith Rich Harris, who argue that genetics and peers are more important that parents when it comes to how a child turns out, there are others like Craig Hart who argue that parents actually do matter, believe it or not.  Parents are there to provide safe and loving environments for their children, help them learn through experiences, act as their advocates, teach them right and wrong, help their children overcome their weaknesses, and to focus on each child’s positive traits.

                Because there are so many influences on parenting out there, it’s important to ask yourself how are you, either as a parent or a future parent, 1) being influenced, and 2) going to change the things you don’t like?              

References:

Culture.  Dictionary.com.  Houghton Mifflin Company.  Retrieved August 4, 2012, from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/culture?s=t

Murphy, Ryan.  (2011, August 7).  10 Benefits of Having Children.  Retrieved from  http://foxnews.com.