Peer Group - by Alexis

                We’ve all been kids, teenagers, or “the new kid” at one point or another before, and we all know just how important having friends is.  Unfortunately, some children find that they have trouble fitting in with others, relating to others, or simply just don’t have the desire to socialize with others.  Sometimes this leads to behaviors from a child that would not regularly be express or portrayed.  Peer pressure that either lead a child to do positive or negative things, and each have unique consequences.

                Believe it or not, there is such a thing as positive peer pressure.  It’s the pressure put on children to create those healthy relationships and friendships based on their self-identity, self-esteem, and self-reliance (Luster, 2012).  Parents hope that this peer pressure can help their children conform to healthy behaviors, and have an overall positive effect.  Especially in the teenager years, peers are the ones who teenagers go to when they’re struggling and need someone to talk to.

                As it is with opposition in all things, unfortunately, negative peer pressure has an effect on children and teenagers.  Everyone wants to fit in and have the approval of their peers, which leads to poor choice making by a lot of teenagers.  The negative peer pressure can get to them and make them want to change who they are, just for acceptance.  There are many teenagers out there who refuse to give up who they are and what they stand for, just for the acceptance of others.  In an article from a 1999 Ensign called “Helping Teens Stay Strong,” one teenager stated that they have the strongest desire to not live church standards at school, because of the desire to fit in and do anything to achieve that.

                During my junior high years, I became friends with an awesome girl who was fun to be around and was always joking around with everyone.  Once she got into high school, her standards began to be lowered, just a little bit at a time.  Her opinions on media and what was okay to watch was the first thing to change.  This was followed by how she dressed, followed by who she hung out with, followed by what she did with her free time.  While the rest of us received our high school diplomas, she was busy trying to support herself, her two babies, and get her GED.  I ran into her a little while ago, and we talked about how different our lives were.  She mentioned that if she could go back to high school and do it all over again, she wouldn’t have tried to gain the acceptance of certain people and been more focused on what she wanted.

                To help combat the problem of comparing oneself among younger children and teenagers, I believe parents should try to apply the following to help their children: 

             

               Personally, I think that the very best thing parents can do to help their children overcome comparing themselves to others is to love their children and spend time with them.  Some parents believe that the quality of the time spent with their kids is more important that the quantity of time they spend with them.  I believe that both are equally important, and that children will flourish in a loving environment and be less likely to fall into the pull of negative peer pressure.

References:

Chadwick, Bruce C. (1999, Mar).  Helping Teens Stay Strong.  Ensign.

S. Luster, SFL 240 lecture, July 23, 2012.