SCARED OF THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL??
9 Tips to help your child with Back to School Fears
1. Let children know it's normal and okay to be afraid
2. Visit the school and school grounds frequently
3. Meet with the teacher and other school personnel
4. Create a soothing space
5. Find a friend
6. Visualization
7. Affirmation
8. Look back
9. Plan ahead
(http://www.positivelyparentingonline.com/article/Dealing-With-Back-To-School-Fears)
To help a child successfully deal with and overcome the fear of school communication and patient listening is key. Help them identify where those feelings are coming from. Have they ever been bullied in the past? Are they making new friends and retaining the former friends? Are they close with their teachers? Do they feel capable in their studies? Do they need to be challenged more? Helping the child understand that change is normal and yet scary will help them begin to open up.
To soften the blow of that first day back to school there are numerous activities a parent can do to ease their child into the uncomfortable situation. Take the child to visit the playground and the school grounds. This builds new memories and they are not directly correlated with those other stressors. Then when the school terms begins the location has a familiar and comfortable feeling associated with positive and separate memories.
Open communication with the teacher and other school personnel can facilitate a better transition also. Meeting their teacher and seeing the classroom, if feasible, before the day can have the same effect as the playground visits. If there can be a space visualized at school to be a soothing place, a calm space then when the child is overloaded they can go there. Same with home, a place to dump the days events and feelings while safe and comforted. This relaxation area can be the needed coping mechanism for many kids that have baggage to deal with.
Talking the child through a mental visualization of that dreaded day can help work out the kinks. What to expect, where they will go, how they can react to the different scenarios etc. This visualization can work right along with positive affirmations. This means positive self-talk to reinforce the good things, or good ways to handle it. Reaffirming the basics that "I am safe, I am relaxed, I can do this" can have healing and calming effects.
Retrospective is always 20/20- even for kids. Helping them see where they have triumphed in the past can help them leap over the current obstacles and fears. This helps put the current fears into perspective and gives them confidence to move forward in confidence.
And finally give the child an incentive to look forward to see beyond the current dilemma. An upcoming dinner, family trip, birthday surprise etc. Something in the future that they will enjoy and feel a sense of accomplishment when they earn it.
No matter what the fear is about school, a patient and understanding parent who supports and loves unconditionally will help overcome the fear. If tears need to happen, let them come. If all of the above and more need to be done then do so with an "I can" attitude. If greater professional help is necessary don't be afraid to ask for it. Since your child's safety and overall well being is your priority don't leave anything out that could be helpful.
Most importantly throughout this whole process TALK to your child.
References:
Positively Parenting Editors. Dealing with Back to School Fears. Retrieved 5 August, 2012, from http://www.positivelyparentingonline.com/article/Dealing-With-Back-To-School-Fears
I think that for parents it is important to remember that every child is different and that certain strategies will work with one kid but not others. This all just goes to say that a parent needs to know their child, I mean really know them. Another thought I had is that good parenting is not necessarily "event" driven. Rather than prepare for the dreaded first day of school, parents need to help children learn life skills and confidence. How a parent treats different situations and guides a child from the very youngest age can shape how well a child will react to or prepare for a big "event" like going to school.
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